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DO YOU WORK WITH VAMPIRES? LEARN HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF! Banish the bloodsuckers from your professional life
Whether it's a coworker, subordinate, or boss, there's at least one emotional vampire in every office. These people try your patience, sap your energy, and add an entirely unhealthy dynamic to workplace productivity. The bestselling author of Emotional Vampires and Dinosaur Brains shows you how to spot and deal effectively with these dysfunctional elements in the workplace:
ANTISOCIALS, who crave excitement in all its forms, including aggression
If your boss or a coworker is trying to push you around . . .
Learn that the most important battle to fight with a bully is in your own mind.
HISTRIONICS, who believe that what it looks like is more important than what it is
If your boss thinks any problem can be solved with a motivational seminar . . .
Learn how to get a manager wannabe to actually manage.
NARCISSISTS, who believe that the universe revolves around them
If your CEO makes Louis XVI look like Gandhi . . .
Learn techniques that diplomats have used throughout history to teach infantile monarchs to act like grown-ups.
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVES, who can't seem to see the forest for the trees
If there is absolutely no task that your boss considers too small to micromanage . . .
Learn to be a Control-Freak Whisperer by seeing your boss's fear rather than your own irritation.
PARANOIDS, who think they've found the simple truths that explain everything
If you work in a place where you can't get ahead unless you drink the Kool-Aid . . .
Learn how to recognize a toxic belief system before it poisons you.
VAMPIRE CULTURES: when vampires get promoted to positions of power, they remake organizations in their own image . . .
Learn the 15 warning signs that tell you to get out before sunset.
PRAISE FOR EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES:
"We love so much about this book! A great complement to Dealing with People You Can't Stand, it goes beyond dealing with the merely difficult behavior to the truly pathological. Bernstein offers believable examples and useful descriptions. This is the book to recommend when the topic of truly horrible behavior comes up!" -- Dr. Rick Kirschner and Dr. Rick Brinkman, authors of the international bestseller Dealing with People You Can't Stand
"This book equips individuals with the tools to identify and defend against a wide array of emotional vampires at work. It offers well-developed tactics for navigating the most difficult people in any organization." -- Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster, bestselling authors of Working with You Is Killing Me and Mean Girls at Work
"It's amazing how one manipulative, territorial, or otherwise self-serving boss or employee can make the lives of everyone around miserable. In Emotional Vampires at Work, Albert Bernstein offers concrete, step-by-step guidance to manage life around these misfits. You'll learn to take care of your and your valued colleagues' needs, while contributing your best to your organization―with maturity and sanity." -- Nancy Ancowitz, author of Self-Promotion for Introverts
- Sales Rank: #341343 in Books
- Published on: 2013-05-21
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.10" h x 1.00" w x 6.40" l, 1.20 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 256 pages
About the Author
Albert J. Bernstein, PhD, has been practicing as a clinical psychologist, professional speaker, and business consultant for more than 40 years. He teaches people how to think like psychologists without having to talk like them. Bernstein's books on dealing with difficult and dangerous people have been translated into more than 20 languages. Visit his website at www.albernstein.com.
Most helpful customer reviews
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Emotional Vampires at Work
By Joyce Howell
Emotional Vampires at Work is valuable because it is "outcomes-based." You will get the results you want if you apply the strategies and tactics for recognizing and deflecting these types of people. The vampire metaphor is dead on. Before reading the book I always knew that certain people made my hair stand up and I feared them, but I could not have said exactly why. Bernstein explains they have personality disorders--they are out of control, subtly but powerfully, driven by immature needs that for them are "the most important thing in the world." That's why they won't let go. I feel sorry for them. But I find comfort in knowing that their needs are "impossible" to fulfill, because that gives me the strength to avoid being nice to them. Understanding them makes it possible for me to successfully deal with Emotional Vampires, and I get the outcomes I seek. It works!
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Save yourself read this
By YodaMom
I am surrounded by them, they suck the energy right out of my day and I am left feeling drained and exhausted from exchanges with them. �Haven't you ever spent time with someone that left you feeling empty ? They are Vampires, emotional vampires. I know they are real and they are not afraid of the light.�
This books shows you ways to spot them and how to deal with their energy draining ways. It is light, funny and yet very serious. It amazed my that many vampiric types have serious mental disorders. Many easy to read patterns.�The Antisocial vampire, the histrionic vampire, narcissistic vampire, obsessive compulsive vampire, and my personal favorite the paranoid vampire. Yes, they do mix it up and combine life draining ways to mess with you. Don't worry there is a lot of help offered here for you. You can deal with them without getting turned yourself.
What if you find that you are an emotional vampire �? �Oh no, don't get squeamish now. There are cures for that, you will be able to walk in the sun. �Your eyes will be opened and you can recover you humanity. Yes, readers I found some flaws in myself that need some work. I will file those fangs down in the future.
I loved this book, LOVED IT. It was the best book I've read in years on dealing with difficult people. It was so entertaining and light hearted, and even had me laughing many times. I wish I had read this years ago the knowledge here is fabulous.
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
JennifersLookingGlass.tumblr.com
By J
"Antisocials and all the other emotional vampires communicate differently than normal people. For most of us, communication is a way of conveying what we think, how we feel, or the specifics of a situation. When emotional vampires communicate, everything they say is directed toward achieving an effect in the person who is listening. The truth, as we understand it, is almost irrelevant."
We all know the type, the people in our lives who seem to suck us dry--whether it be constant cries for attention, making mountains out of molehills, or demands to follow rigid structures, vampires treat us as if we're their next meal. Unfortunately, they seem to be in situations we can't easily escape--family obligations, work, neighbors, etc. So, what's an innocent to do against these soul-sucking children of the night? Garlic-up!
In Emotional Vampires at Work, Dr. Albert J. Bernstein describes five personality disorders that create unhealthy, immature, and difficult vampires: antisocials (think unscrupulous sales people), narcissists (the legends-in-their-own-mind who have a constant need of reinforcement), obsessive-compulsives (bureaucratic, workaholic rule creators), histrionics (dramatics who are still living in high school), and paranoids (black-and-white, all-or-nothing manipulators). He stresses the immaturity of these types of individuals--it does help to think of them as children--and how important it is to step out of their tantrums, to think slowly and clearly in order to make the right decision. This is especially critical when your job is on the line.
The book is structured with checklists to recognize you're dealing with a vampire (you'll often describe them in superlatives) and identify the type, insights into the nature of the disorder, tools for working with the vampires (whether they report to you or you to them), and descriptions of workplace cultures where vampires rule. The information is so well presented that it's tempting to become an armchair psychologist--diagnosing and helping others, but Bernstein stresses that would be a mistake. Vampires do not think in the same way as others, and they are not asking for your help. The purpose of the book is to minimize stress in dealing with them and avoid becoming a vampire yourself, especially if you work in a nest of them.
Bernstein takes what could be dry clinical text and makes it engaging, informative, and practical. I highly recommend this book.
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